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S2 Episode 1: Brave Enough To Lie About Your Age (and make it work for you)

aging beautifully fearless after 50 love your life who am i after 50 Feb 15, 2022
 

(00:02):

Welcome to Season 2 of S.O.F.T. & Strong - Women who are Brave Enough to love their lives as they're aging. You are here!

And I am just so excited to be beginning this new season because, in this new season, what we're gonna be talking about is some exciting stuff.

We're going to be talking all about Identity.

 

Who Are You?

(00:30):

Who are you in this time beyond 50?

How do you see yourself?

You are the one who makes that decision. You are the one who can be find that.

Who are you? Who do you want to be? Who are you going to be?

As you go forward into this last phase of life?

It's the best phase. It's the wisest phase. It's a phase where you have so much to give.

I had to kind of chuckle. I was reading this one article from a site called Life Hacker -

(01:10):

It was written in 2019, but the author said, "For many years, my mom has been telling herself and anyone else who will listen, that she's 45 years old.

She's not actively trying to deceive us." Then she says, "I'm 37. So I'm not falling for it. She's really trying to deceive herself.

(01:38):

She'd read somewhere that if you tell yourself you are a younger age, you'll start to feel younger. She swears that lying to yourself is the key to a more youthful life. And science says she might actually be right".

So my question to you today is...

 

"Are you brave enough to lie about your age?"

(02:06):

Now, my husband and I always say we feel like we're 27 and 30. That puts me beyond the scientific norm. As I'm going to show you, most scientific research shows that you need to be closer to your actual age but I can testify that, because I feel younger inside, and I actually see that number '27' in my mind, I think that it really keeps me younger and doing younger things.

And I'm hoping to keep that trend going as I get older. Tell me what sounds better to say... "I Am old" or to say "I am strong. I am open to life and love. I am fearlessly loving. I always am true to myself."

(03:05):

What sounds better?

What makes you feel better?

When you say 'old' or the acronym for S.O.F.T., what you're gonna be hearing a lot about. Those are the categories that we need to focus on if we're going to keep our minds off of aging and instead focus on other things that really matter.

'S' is for Soft: Strong on the inside so you can be soft on the outside.

(03:38):

'O' Is for being Open to life and love.

'F' Is Fearlessly Loving. '

T' Is True to Yourself.

Those are the things that will keep you growing. Keep you contributing. Which are what makes us come alive.

They bring out your beauty, your sparkle, your magic.

That's what we want, right?

 

You have an Emotional Home

(04:02):

Aging is actually no different than any other age. Whether you're below 50 or over 50, it's really true that you live as you feel.

We call this your 'emotional home'. And here's a news flash...

If you are generally depressed, even at 35, you'll respond to anything that happens in your life by going into a depressed place.

Same applies if you're angry. If you are an angry person, you will always respond with anger.

If, though you are an optimistic person who is naturally optimistic and has developed and is developing that optimism, that's how you will respond when things happen.

That's the home, the emotional home that you'll come back to.

(04:57):

But I just want to clarify something here. Don't worry if you happen if you have to say, 'Hey, I am one of those depressed people or angry people'.

You know what? That's okay. Because once you are aware of something, that means you are giving yourself the opportunity to change it. Because being aware of it is 50% of the battle, right?

You live how you feel.

(05:25):

And sometimes we believe that that we don't have control over what's happened to our lives, that other people on our paths have done things to us that cause us to respond to life in that way.

But here's what I wanna really challenge you.

This is what I talk about a lot because it's such a revelation that came to me a couple of years ago. That life is really simple.

We really are individual hearts, beautiful, incredible hearts that were made with so much strength inside.

 

 You - A Heart walking along on your Path

(06:03):

We are hearts walking on a path. When we're born, we enter that path.

When we die, we leave that path.

In between all this stuff happens to us. These bombs go off that absolutely rock our world.

These boulders fall on us, flattening us for a time.

People on their own paths that run beside ours throw rocks at us that could be hurtful words or expectations. Things that they put on us that wound us and make us feel as if we're not enough.

(06:41):

All of that stuff happens to us in life. But you know what?

Because you are an individual walking your own path, you have the choice to decide who you will be in the middle of everything that is going on around you.

Things do not just happen to you because God is out to get you. Things happen in order to build your beautiful character.

To create the best you that you can be.

Sometimes there's just not even a reason for why things happen. You just happen to be in the middle of where it happened.

(07:29):

Nonetheless, no matter the circumstances, you are the one who decides where you're going to live as an emotional home. Nobody can define who you are except YOU.

And that's what I want for us to really consider in this podcast.

You decide who you are going to be.

Who are you going to be?

We are gonna talk and talk and to talk about that powerful identity that you need to create so that you have that strength inside to take you forward into whatever is ahead.

Francis Bacon - and some of you might have heard of him - had said, 'I will never be an old man. To me old age is always 15 years older than I am."

 

Old Age is always 15 years older than I am

(08:31):

Well again, that sort of attitude is supported by science.

Let me just read you this little bit that I found in another article, "A recent surge in research in this area has revealed that the extent to which people feel younger than they are, is strongly associated with a whole range of health outcomes.

(08:54):

People with a younger subjective age,' - that's thinking you're younger than you are or just feeling you're not as old as they tell you on your birthday - 'People with a younger subjective age are  less likely to suffer from diabetes, hypertension, depression, cognitive, impairment and dementia.' Wow!

'If you think of yourself as younger, you may act younger in ways you don't even realize such as by walking faster, exercising more or engaging in activities that increase the gray matter in your brain instead of decreasing it, which is what dementia is.

(09:38):

So how do you manage to feel young as your body stiffens up, you lose your upright stance, your hips and your knees wear out, your stamina for walking declines and your body strength plummets? Good question, right? The answer is that you can take steps to greatly slow down the rate at which these things happen.'

(10:02):

This is in the same article they're saying this.

In other words, who you are right now and who you decide to be is going to prepare you for who you are in the future.

When those things begin to happen, or if they're already happening, you get to decide who you are going to be INSIDE because you are not your body.

You live inside your body.

(10:30):

'In Another study by the University college of London, they found that people who felt younger than their actual age had a 50% reduced risk of death compared to people who felt as old as they were or older. So the research from the German Center of Gerontology says that one reason for the link between our subjective age and good health is that feeling younger protects middle aged and older adults against damaging stress.'

(11:10):

The stress is less, and we all know that stress will wipe you out. Stress attacks, your inner organs, ages you without you being able to do anything about that.

So reduce your stress, feel better about who you are, love your life. And you end up living a fuller, richer, healthier life.

 

 How old do YOU feel - in your heart?

(11:39):

So here's a quick little test to finish off our podcast today.

How old do you feel you are in your head? What is your head telling you? Mine says I'm 27 and I know I'm outside of what I should be because I am really 65.

But 27 keeps me youthful. I feel younger. I feel more alive.

What's your age? What's the magic age in your head?

(12:19):

When we move our heads and our hearts away from focusing on being 'old' to other things that make life matter, we give ourselves a much fuller life.

We are going to get to know that heart of yours. We are going to take it apart and see who you are, what your strengths are inside.

What gives you your magic?

What will help you to be fearlessly loving so you are defending and protecting the things that matter to you?

(12:57):

How can you be true to that person that you are?

In the next episode we're gonna talk about the strength in you - that S in Soft, what makes you strong on the inside so you don't have to be all stressed out and put on that shell of protection around you on the outside.

You can just be soft and allow life to happen.

We're gonna talk about the physical you, about the thoughts and the words that you use that can help you to keep that picture alive.

(13:37):

And the beliefs that you have, those are the three key areas we need to work on: ...your physical being

...your words that you use and

...the beliefs that you have.

That's the magic triad.

So we're gonna keep working on that in the meantime, until the next podcast, keep the age that you feel in your mind. Think about that often.

Be that age in your head and act like it in your heart.

Alright - until the next podcast, stay strong, my lovely ladies. Thanks so much for being here.

___________________________________________

I'm Bernice McDonald and I'm a Mindset Coach. I help women beyond 50 who are seeing their dreams disappearing off into the distance as they age and feeling the fear of inevitably becoming invisible.  Together we identify their vision, break through  the wall of fear and past stories  to develop a plan that shifts their eyes to a much more exciting focus  other than "getting old"
 
It's exciting to see them step into their purpose, find the courage to make those bold decisions and, best of all, begin to fully love this next phase, embracing the rest of  life instead of missing out.  Meet with me to set up your Personal Aging Beautifully Plan (free with no obligation)

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